How have I shared myself with others and not feel a deep sense of depletion? I usually, without a doubt, have felt that I have given so much of myself to others and feel that I have not received enough in return. But, that thought process is so flawed and perhaps that is why I have felt so depleted causing me, to a certain extent, to diminish how much of myself I do share, be it my time, energy, talents, or gifts.
If I look deeper into the idea of sharing myself it is actually allowing myself to receive more perhaps not from the same person as I have shared myself with. Often my feelings of depletion would further render feelings of judgement, selfishness, unappreciation, and anger. Initially, they may have been directed toward the person, but I would come to eventually realize they were really directed toward myself.
In the process of becoming a more authentic human being and learning more about myself, I am discovering and understanding that my perspective was faulted and mainly at myself. How can you become a more authentic person then to share who you are and what God has given you with others. That is what being human is, isn’t it?
We all have many gifts and talents that we have been blessed with. It is our responsibility to identify those gifts and to share. How do we know what those gifts are? It is what your authentic self keeps calling you to do, it is that leap of excitement and a deep knowing that this feels right for me.
My cancer diagnosis was the catalyst for my inward journey. I have learned so much of myself and will continue to go deeper and learn even more. During this exciting process of discovery, I am healing both the physical and emotional wounds that I have had the tendency to carry forward like a trunk of misfit memories that I can’t seem to release. But gingerly and compassionately, I move forward going deeper and deeper making the trunk lighter and lighter and uncovering and enjoying my gifts that I only wish to share with you.
I am ever so grateful that during my self discovery I have brought to light my joy of writing. Writing moves my soul and because it brings me so much joy I am sharing it with you, the reader of this blog. This is not to seek accolades, but to just share myself with you.