Seven years ago today, I had a double mastectomy. Today is a day in the future that I was determined to get to when I was diagnosed in 2013.
The reality of my cancerversary came this afternoon as I was going about my day of getting things done. I stopped for a break and a cup of coffee. And just like that the realization of the day came upon me and the tears just poured out of me. A hardy cry that was one of gratitude to God for all that I have been able to partake in since my diagnosis. The most important is to be with my husband and daughters. The tears don’t stop knowing I have the gift of yet another day.
All of the material possessions or gems of the world is of little value in order to get to live another day after cancer. But unless you have had cancer or the experience of getting to know your mortality you may not know the true feeling of another day and how oh so precious it is.
I do not know what my future holds, but I will hold today so close and tenderly to me knowing how invaluable it is.
Thank you God and the universe for helping me know that I am not yet done living and loving this life of mine.
With gratitude always,
How often do we pause during our day? Do we pause long enough to take a deep breath, to smile at someone as they pass you by or to just sit and collect our thoughts without the intrusion of our electronic devices.
Today, I had the pleasure of a long pause to just sit outside in my city. To watch, to listen, to pray and to just be. I am so grateful for this moment knowing how good it felt to just pause and to just be.
My wish for you today is that you may be able to pause. Even if it is for a moment, but oh it is so good for us.
Haven’t written a blog post in what seems like eternity. I was in my own way. Fear is pretty much my copilot at times. Fear seems to have over extended its visit. Today, I am allowing myself just to be and to get centered. In the centering process, I picked up my phone to write this impromptu blog post and the time said 4:44. I believe it was a sign to push forward, type and publish.
I know there are some writers who have set schedules of posting blogs and I honor that, but I could never seem to get on a schedule to do so. One day perhaps. I just seem to have to be willing to spontaneously write in order to post. But, the danger in that way of thinking is that I then never follow through. Urg, see, I get in my own way.
I have been inspired to have my voice be heard even if only 3 family members read my blog (hoping for more) I thank you for letting me share my voice.
Currently, I am experiencing a lot of transitions all good just learning to navigate this time. I am learning new things about myself and identifying new opportunities to allow my authentic self to flourish and to explore.
I thank you, as always, for letting me share a bit of myself with you and knowing that today at 4:44 was the time to share.
I miss blogging so much and it is hard to believe that is has been 6 months since my last post. After such a long hiatus, I had some hesitation to go back. My thoughts included should I even try, is my writing worthy to be shared and will anyone find value in my words. I find that the longer I am away from blogging, the harder it is for me to try again. In seeking some inspiration or at least a kick start, I thought I would reach out to Kristen Noel. Kristen is an phenomenal writer, speaker and blogger and has an amazing presence with her online magazine “Best Self” (www.kristennoel.com). Nervously hoping she would reply to a newbie blogger like myself. And of course she replied because the universe wanted to give me an affirmation to try again. It was the push I needed to post. So thank you Kristen. I am very grateful the universe is using you to softly and gently encourage me. Your words of encouragement is just what I needed.
Writing for me has always been a creative outlet and when life gets a little hectic and emotional for me my writing is my go to release. And life has not failed to disappoint. Some good things, some not so good things and some realities I wish did not come to fruition. But, nonetheless, this in how my life is rolling these days and what better way to adjust and navigate then to write.
I have been managing what life has been dishing me and I needed to just go inside and process the changes. In doing so, the little voice inside quietly, yet consistently, said to blog. So here I am finally listening to the voice inside with the encouragement of Kristen Noel.
Thank you for reading and letting me share a piece of myself again. It’s very nice to be back. I am looking forward to sharing more with you.
After taking time off in January for some quiet reflection and enjoying the winter in the Midwest, here is a little tender post. During the past five years, I have personally felt that I have grown tremendously. Sometimes I wondered why do I have to be in this learning season for so long. But with each season comes a collective wisdom that is not so apparent initially. Growth can come in many forms, spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. I have experienced growth in all areas of my life for the good. I feel that I have reaped the benefits of healing (which was initiated by a cancer diagnosis) and I only want more. I don’t want more in the form of material possessions, to the contrary I have been purging and making every attempt to declutter what not longer brings me joy or makes my life simple. But, more for myself personally. To really live life fully and wholeheartedly. This may seem selfish. In the past, I would silently acknowledge my happiness only before my old self would begin to get its protective gear and squash the long lasting effects just in case something “bad” was lurking around the corner.
I want more for myself so that I don’t have to see what may pop up. I want to feel more joy, more simplicity, more peace. All of these qualities make my life easier and I want more. I finally have begun to allow myself the opportunity to happily want more. In today’s society people are moving a mile a nanosecond, texting, driving and listening to music, you have to do more to be more and I just want to be more.
I no longer want to feel guilty for wanting more of what I have identified as a simple life. I know that I will have many more seasons because that is what life is transitioning between those seasons, but I am so grateful that I now have this foundation to further experience life and to want more of it.
In saying goodbye to 2017, I wanted to write a post. Somehow neatly placing a bow on a year of further self discovery for me. These past few weeks I have been reflecting on the certain qualities that I would like to enhance. It seems that new year’s resolutions are usually based upon changing a “bad” characteristic or habit. I want to continue the good and I am highlighting those aspects of myself that bring me joy.
I read an interesting quote yesterday that said “If the glass is half empty, get a smaller glass!” As simple as this advice seems, it indicates that we have the power to change our circumstances by our outlook and action, but how often do we. My action for 2018 will be to make sure I always have the smallest glass so I can see all the “fullness” in my life.
I plan on continuing my journey of implementing simplicity in my life as well as continuing the slow process of removing non serving beliefs and changing those ingrained thought processes that do not bring me joy. And it’s hard, very hard, I have been doing it for a majority of my life. Most importantly, I plan on experiencing more moments of my life that make me pause, catch my breath and say thank you. Those moments are shared with the ones I love and mean so much to me.
Wishing all of you a heartfelt year of joy, simplicity and moments that have you catch your breath.
A few moments that have caught my breath……
(Photographs taken by the author of The Blue Bird Writes, me, to share my joy with you!)
Merry Christmas!!!! I wish each and everyone of you a wonderful Christmas. I tried in sincere earnest to have a simple Christmas season and it was accomplished. I told my husband that this was by far one of the best Christmas’ we have had. I feel that it was because we focused on what the holiday season means to us and I focused on making it simple and enjoyable.
My wish for Christmas was that it would snow and it did on Christmas eve. My second wish was that if it snowed we would take a walk as a family on the trail I walk and we were able to. Even the our dog joined us. It was simple and magical and humbling. All we need for Christmas was each other and this Christmas celebration emulated that notion.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog series, I thoroughly am ecstatic to have accomplished this task.
(I apologize for posting this blog a few days late as the stomach virus descended upon our home on Christmas evening. But, gratefully, we are on the mend.)
Many Christmas Blessings,
It Snowed!!!!!!! and it is still snowing. I received my Christmas wish. Oh, I am so elated, happy and joyful. The snow is so beautiful, especially freshly fallen snow. How lucky am I to be able to have this wish realized.
As I was preparing for this blog, I received a call from a cousin who I have not spoken to for quite some time. It was truly a great call to receive. We were able to catch up and are planning on getting together in the spring. She said that even though we haven’t talked for some while we have always thought of you. It just made this day even better.
I am so completely grateful, more than one can know, my husband and daughters have their health, we have a home, warmth, food, togetherness and love and what more can a person ask for. I am truly grateful for all of my many Christmas blessings.
Let the Christmas celebrations begin. We are so grateful to share another Christmas with family. I so look forward to being together with those I cherish and most importantly to laugh, to love and to be together. That is what Christmas means to me.
As this blog series is nearing it’s end, I have learned so much about myself and all that I can become, even at the age of 46. That is a wonderful gift to have received at Christmas; the gift of hope and believing you can accomplish anything.
Many Christmas Blessings,