It may seem unusual to most people that know me but, I am an introvert at heart. Preferring the comforts of quiet solitude and to be with my thoughts which usually is only interrupted by my snoring dog. There are times when I wish I had the courage to jump out of my shell a little more often. I am so comfortable in that shell and feel really safe. I have been taking baby steps with my authentic self guiding me to creating the life that brings me much joy. But, those baby steps have been put on hold and I went back in my shell. Maybe it was to sit with my progress, gain more courage to take more baby steps or reevaluate why I am doing all of this. It is probably all of them and a few more.
That is why I have not made any blog posts. I have written. Actually, I have written a lot, all bloggable (did I just make a new word?) material. It’s just that I have resided in my shell a lot longer then I thought I would have and not posted anything. The one thing I realized being in the shell longer is that it is harder to come out.
A few weeks ago I was at the hospital for a routine physical. Doctor’s visits always bring up a lot of anxious feelings for me. But, I had to have the courage to go through the doors reminding myself that in one hour I will be done. The visit was less than an hour actually more like 20 minutes. I didn’t even wait in the waiting room. It was a great appointment and I was thoroughly relieved.
As I was leaving the hospital, an idea popped up and said you should take a ride to the beach and see the lake. You always wanted to. Have the courage! Take another baby step. You’re already this far what’s another 20 minutes.
The prospect of having courage to do this was exciting. So when I was leaving the parking garage I drove north instead of south and landed at the beach in 20 minutes.
Giving myself the opportunity to listen to my authentic self provided a boost to my courage to stay out of my shell a lot longer and have a wonderful time. It is the fuel I needed to take a few more baby steps.
I was so proud of myself and received so much during my excursion. I don’t blame myself for the extended retreat in my shell because I needed that time. It is just the observation of coming out of my shell. Being able to observe that of myself is just as beautiful as the photo I took below of the lake on a cold January day.